Friday, November 10, 2006

Day 15: Dead Man's Hand

Having started to write my 100 things list and knowing what I want to accomplish, you would expect (at least I expected) me to start doing those things immediately. Well, instead I went to play texas hold'em with my friends. I'll let you know tomorrow who won and what.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Day 14: Freedom

Is it just me or is the sun shining brighter today? I'm breathing so freely that I doubt if my lungs are even there anymore. Are those birds really sh*tting on every car but not mine?
Today I have been mostly eating yoghurt and writing down a list of things I'm going to do. The topic of the list is "100 things to do before I die".

100 Things To Do Before I Die

- Visit Grand Canyon. Just to see what everybody is talking about.
- Make a world record in something.
- Drive Route 66. There and back.
- Eat beef in Baby Beef, Sao Paolo.
- Build a well to a third country village.
- Start a foundation for kids.
- Travel to Palau.
- Do 1000 scuba dives.
- Buy a set of (electric) drums.
- Build a personal recording studio.

To be continued.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Day 13: Appetite For Destruction

OK, I had made up my mind to get fired. Somehow I like to leave the company with a big bang, so I created a DIY-End-Of-The-World plan. I packed my brand new ice hockey gear, a ghettoblaster, a box of vodka and 1,000 euros to my car and went to the office.

Lunch break is the best time to make your attack, since there's nobody at the office. I went to the garage, stripped and put my hockey gear on. I also took the other equipment and went upstairs. I waited until it was 5 minutes to the end of the lunch break. Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff would suit the mood pretty well, so I put it on repeat. Last breaths of aggression and the volume to 11. I banged my helmet with the stick and went totally nuts!!!

I ran against the booths and broke the lights with my stick. I cross-checked the computers and hit my head against the glass doors. The plants hadn't done anything to me, put it didn't stop me of throwing them against the wall. I threw the sofas down from the balcony and the copy machines are still singing rock-hallelujah after my treatment!

My colleagues were already coming back from the break and needless to say, they were speechless. Some of them tried to calm me down and asked me to stop, but once I gave them the box of vodka my little destruction exercise escalated into a full-scale riot!!! After 5 minutes the outer walls were the only things that were in their original position...

After the show was over, we sat on top of the trash mountain.The vodka was going around the circle and everybody was breathing deeply. I said my thanks for the help. Once our manager arrived and dropped his jaw, I went to him and gave him a 5 euro bill.

-Here's for the damage, I hope it covers everything. Now, could I be excused for good?

No words were spoken, but I turned around, walked by my colleagues and caused the last riot by throwing the 995 euros to the air. My mission here was over.

Back at home I went to sauna, drank a couple of beers and laughed my ass off.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Day 12: Jester, at your service!

When you are working for someone else and your motivation (= need for money) is close to zero, you lose the will to work. Due to this, I dedicated this work day for practical jokes. I took a big bag of potatoes to the office and had my fun in the garage. I put a potato into each car's exhaust pipe and left a friendly note (“Thanks a**hole for parking like that) under the wiper.

During the lunch hour I visited every empty booth and messed everything! I turned the chairs upside down and hid the phones. Papers and magazines got switched between different booths. I used every open computer to print a document (“Hi, where is this printer? Call me.”) 200 times. I also send many meeting invitations through Outlook and reserved all the meeting rooms. And of course I ordered coffee and cake to every meeting from our cafeteria.

In the afternoon I called to annoying people and yelled “hello? hello? is there anybody there?” with an accent. They went nuts after the fifth time! After three o'clock I felt it was time for this Homer Simpson to leave the party. So this working day was fun, but what the heck I'm going to do tomorrow? Get myself fired???

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Day 11: Big problems, simple solutions

We thought it would be nice to see our friends for a change, so we made one-day road trip. We have at least 10+ friends, that we have promised “to visit soon”. In the past there were lots of good and bad reasons not to see them, but now the sudden steadiness of our near future has given us the opportunity to “live the moment”. The biggest headache you get when travelling with the family is the packing. You have to remember spare clothes, food, fun&games, tissues, snacks, drinks, spares for spare clothes, diapers, vitamins, medicine, keys, money, etc. The second headache starts after the first minute of driving: you have to provide entertainment for the children. When you're trapped in a hot (or freezing) car with 5,000 kilowatts of pure screaming power, you have to be causious. One wrong move and your mental well-being is destroyed.

Since the lucky break of becoming a millionaire, I decided to overcome the difficulties of travelling – no matter of the cost. I gave it a long thought and then the Answer came like a lightning from the clear sky. It was the ultimate and most simple solution for my problem. Of course it hadn't crossed my mind in the days when I was still a regular guy, but now the money has given wings to my imagination. And the answer was very simple: disgustingly exaggerated overspeeding. Yes, put the pedal to the metal and your problems are out of the rear window!!! First, you don't have to pack so many things for the road since you're going to arrive to the destination earlier. Second, the kids will hold their breath when you are overtaking every car on the road and trying to avoid hitting the oncoming cars. Third, if I get caught of overspeeding, I can bribe the police (benefit of being a Big Fish). So please MTV, pimp my station wagon (while my Audi is still being delivered)!!!

(Note from the author: Do Not Try This At Home Or You Are Going To Get Hurt Big Time).

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Day 10: Half-pro

Since I don't have to be concerned about my income anymore, I spent the day as a hockey pro. I started the day with half an hour jog, ate breakfast and stretched. Then I drove to the hall and got prepared for the evening match. We played hard, but the opponent was one step ahead in the third period, so we lost. But still it was a great day, since I could the thing what I've dreamed of since I was a little kid.

Day 9: High Speed Metallic Case

I had to spend the day at work. I can assure you, that the motivation gap between myself and Starvin Marvin in the buffet line was bigger than Grand Canyon. Cheez! You've seen the lovely winter photos from here. Today that beautiful snow was again screwing up the traffic, so I was trapped in my car on the way to work and also on the way to home. This is one of the things I hate the most in working: you're stuffed in to a small metallic case every day. The other trained monkeys in their metallic cases are trying to overtake each other just about everywhere and the same rally continues twice a day. You feel lucky to get out a alive, but next day you have to be there again. Get Fired or Die Driving.

Well, this post was a bit negative, but the day turned out to be very good. I had to work only one day and already the weekend begun! I prepared the meat I bought yesterday (it had a funny side taste, kinda like beer...) and I had some wine with my wife after the kids were asleep. We watched the movie Capote and I was amazed how brilliant Philip Seymour Hoffman was on the main role. The movie was boring, but the acting - WOW! I'm definetely going to read that book Capote wrote.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Day 8: The Art of Grocery Shopping (by Sun Tzu)

My last vacation day, so it's time to get nuts! On Saturday the stores are going to be closed, so today was the perfect day to fill our storages. I purpously left my family home, so I could do something I wouldn't want my kids to see... Don't do as I do, do as I say...

I went to the local supermarket. I was again hungry as hell, but this time it was on purpouse. Can you resist anything when you're drooling already? First thing. I took the biggest cart I could find and then added couple of baskets to the sides. Second thing. Only buy items that you can drop from the shelf to the cart. Third. Whistle the whole way. Ready to go?

I skipped the veggies and fruits, since I couldn't drop them to the cart. Well, I got some bananas that I was able to drop from the top of Mount Chiquita. From the next section I was able to get bread that was placed on the upper shelf. But now I had a problem. I was really anxious to get some Brasilian ox meat, but they were placed so low that I couldn't drop them to the cart. Aha! I went to the nearest employee. Since I was whistling the whole time, I couldn't talk. I had to make some gestures to the woman and she quickly realised that I needed help (and maybe strong medication). I leaded her to the ox meat and started to point it with a loud whistle. The woman picked the meat and was putting it to the cart. No no no, I gestured. The woman was confused and looking me like I was some kinda freak. I showed her to raise the hand in which she held the meat. Of course, since the customer is always right, she raised her arm. Immediately I hit the meat and it fell down to the cart. YES! Thank you very much, you have been most helpful, here's a hundred, buy something for yourself. I rolled away whistling.

Bread, meat, bananas. What else does a grown man with million euros need? Lacohol. Acholl. Alcohol. And lots of it. I was standing in the beginning of the beer aisle. I started to whistle Bonanza. You could feel the intensity of the moment. The Man and The Beer. Evolution at its best. I usually bought the cheapest lagers, but now I raised my arm and pointed it to the imported beers. Uuuuh, you're so gonna get it! I started to run and Bonanza led me through the 20 meter aisle. Imagine the sound of breaking bottles and cans hitting the cart. I was there and felt alive. The smell of beer got mixed with air and I inhaled it deeply to my sweating organs.

Well, the security escorted me outside, I whistled my last tune, paid more than enough and finally I was home with my shoppings. My wife looked like a question mark, since I was covered with beer.

- Nice supermarket. Better not to go there for a while.

What an unforgettable day. I proved that you can also have fun without alcohol (in your brain). More stories tomorrow. In the meanwhile, enjoy Dan Lok's ultimate success concept and prosper.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Day 7: Snowman reads Dan Kennedy

Can you imagine 1,20 meters of snow? I couldn't believe my eyes this morning, since there was snow everywhere. And I don't mean some miserable tiny pile, there were HUGE piles of snow everywhere. I couldn't even move my car, so we spend the day at home. When days like this come, I'm thankful to have this thing called Internet. You can find the most incredible things from there. Today I found the site of Dan Kennedy, master of direct marketing. The guy is well-known for his success guides and marketing skills, so there's a lot to learn from him. If you want to have your business to be sky-rocketing, take a look.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Day 6: Wunderbaum Monkey Pays Big Debt

Today is managed to continue my beloved hobby - weight lifting. I went to the gym in the morning and put my new shiny Nike shoes on. I was also wearing my "Ugly Monkey" T-shirt that I purchased a while ago. After the training I felt like a fresh caveman, who is desperately seeking for a Wunderbaum to cover the smell of sweat. I've started this TO-BUY list recently, so I added "new training gear that breaths" there. Maybe next time I wouldn't smell this bad. I also added "get a membership to gym with sauna". Money talks and BS walks.

Lunch was a disaster, I ate pizza again.

In the afternoon I had a fantastic reason for a big smile. I called the bank and asked them that what is the procedure if I want to pay my housing loan now. After a pleasant conversation with a pleasent voice, I transferred a six figure sum from my account. That was it. I was sitting in front of the PC. I had a quiet moment of 2 seconds. I realised that I was free again!!! I screamed "FREEDOM" as loud as I could and went to have a beer.

Take a look at the snow today.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Take a look at these!

Beautiful winter day! Fresh air and sun shine. Lovely planet!

Day 5: Wayne Groteski

Papa gotta brand new pack of toys! I was just like a kid in the candy store. Finally I could buy the ice hockey gear I've always wanted. New knee/shoulder/elbow pads, gloves and a helmet. I also bought five composite sticks and teeth protection. Watch out Hanson brothers, Wayne Groteski cross-checking the ice! I left the store smiling and if possible, my grin was even broader when I realised that the new Audi would be taking me to ice hockey practise and games in just a few weeks.

I went home, undressed and tried the new equipment on. I definetely looked like an idiot with the partial gear and underwear. But what made me a total moran were those “are you talking to me?” lines in front of the mirror. Bad-ass forward from hell! At least in front of the mirror. Whatever gives you the kicks...

I'm starting to get worried about my diet, but I've given myself the permit to eat trash for a while (I'm rich now, hooray!). When things get rolling, I'll get back to my healthy eating habits again. I was really starving, so I needed something and fast. Again I decided to have a pizza. One phone call and 20 minutes later I went to get the pizzas while my family was waiting in the car. I had ordered pizzas for me and my wife, since our oldest son always eats one tiny slice from our pizzas. So I went back to the car and my son noticed the two pizza boxes. He commented:

- This is my pizza. Daddy, you can eat one slice from mommy's pizza.
- Son, these are for mommy and daddy, but you can have a slice from them both.
- No. Mommy, you have to eat a slice from daddy's pizza, since I'm going to eat your pizza.

Big words, huge attitude. Fantastic future.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

About this blog

Welcome to my blog! This is a fictional story about a guy who now owns 1 million euros. He writes (almost) every day what he has done with the money and what else is going on with his life.

You might have written an essay "What would I do with 1 million dollars" in school. I thought it would make a great story to put down ALL the things you would do as a millionaire. This is also a good mind game, since I'm curious to know how my life would change if I'd be economically independent (= rich).

The main character is called Daemon. He got his million euros by making business in the internet. He's about 30 years old, married with 2 kids. They live happily in a nice neighborhood located in the northen part of Europe.


Day 4: Bright sky, birds and hangover.

Today started with the hangover of the decade. Toilet was my best friend, I'll never forget you. After the brunch (apple juice) we said goodbye to our friends and agreed to do this again sometime. The sun was shining from the clear sky and there was snow on the ground. What a beautiful day to be wasted... They say that hangover is the most creative state and I have to agree to that. My best ideas have their roots in hangovers, since then you can think more clearly than the night before but you still have some alcohol in your blood to release the barriers and blocks of the mind. So my bright idea was to sit at our backyard, in the snow, with nothing else on except my boxer shorts. Rich people are weird.

Later in the evening I decided to punish myself. I took my ice hockey gear and went to practise with my friend's team. Kids, do not try this at home. Exercise and hangover don't go together, you just cause yourself a heart attack. Anyways, I noticed that my equipment needed some update desperately, so tomorrow one sport shop will get a buying customer.

Quote: Today my son was trying to fly in the living room. He swung his arms so heavily, that I had to say to him that humans aren't capable to fly. “No, my other wing is just broken” he replied.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Day 3: “... and then press Enter.”

For starters, a little bit of “cultural exchange” to all my wonderful&beautiful readers. In northern Europe you have two sets of tires for your car. One for summer time and the second for winter. Because there's snow and ice on the road during the winter, we have to have specially designed tires in order to avoid slipping and sliding. So, the tires are usually changed just before the first snow and of course, first snow came today. Well, it didn't seem such a trouble for lucky millionaire to get the tires changed by someone else. But I wasn't that eager to start searching some repair shop that would do the thing, because I would also have to drive there with my summer tires. Since the changing usually takes max. 1 hour, I decided to do it by myself. So I was out there in the cold, spending that 1 hour on my knees.

After the change I was happy, I had just saved 20 euros :) I had read from somewhere, that James Hetfield of Metallica still changed the oils to his car by himself, so maybe I can continue to change the tires.

For a millionaire, everyday is a new chance to make some good investments. Today I decided to invest in clothes and McDonald's. Once again we packed our family to the comfortable station wagon and drove to the mall on our recently changed winter tires. My wife went to the supermarket with the kids while I went to look for the clothes I desperately needed.

OK, first stop. Bought 5 pair of jeans with 5 different belts. Then 10 T-shirts and 5 sweaters for the cold, cold winter conditions. Couple of cool new jackets and caps. Ten pairs of boxers. My shoe collection now shines with 20(!) new pairs! Oh man! What next??? Better to take a breath and continue some other day... I went to pick up my family, but they were stuck in very long register line. Hmmm... let's share the fun. I bought 20 lottery tickets from the kiosk and went to the line my family was in. I took a deep breath and talked to the gentleman in front of us:

-Sorry, sir. My kids are already tired and we would like to get home as soon as possible. Would it be possible to change places in the line? I can give you 2 lottery tickets as gift for your kind gesture.

Well, the gentleman was ready to change the places even without the tickets, but we insisted that he would take them. I repeated the same procedure and eventually we found ourselves at the register. Hope that some of those tickets will win – BIG TIME!

We continued to McDonald's, we ate well and finally we were back at home. I took a beer and started to prepare some late night snack for our friends that were coming. My mother took the kids for the evening, so we could celebrate as long as we wanted. The evening was just perfect. Once our friends were at our place, I told them the good news. I was pleased to say that the drinks were on me, for the first time in my life. And it felt sooooo good. We ate and drank, took a taxi to the city, partied to the morning and then we checked in to the hotel. Suites for everybody, of course... What a lifestyle.

The best for the last. My older son is about 3,5 years now and he is already familiar with computers. He has been playing some games and typed letters with Word. Today he had build a gun from Legos. My wife was a bit surprised, because this was the first time my son even mentioned the word 'gun'. So, to check what our son knew about guns, my wife asked that how the gun works. And the boy explained:

-First you have to pull from this switch. Then you put two balls in here. After that you aim to the target and then press Enter.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Day 2: Hide from the rain

Today the weather was absolutely terrible, so we spend the day inside. Of course I had to make a 1 hour long phone call to my parents. I also called to couple of my best friends and invited them to visit us during the weekend. I'm going to surprise them :-)

Just to get some money spend, we ordered pizzas twice from the nearby restaurant. I also bought couple of books online, they should arrive in a week or two. It's amazing that we are still in the stone age when it comes to logistics: why do I have to wait 2 weeks just to get 400 pages of paper delivered to me?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Day 1: First "investment"

I couldn't sleep well. Three hours of sleep and I was up again at 5:30 AM. My wife and kids were still asleep, so I just went to lie on the couch.

After the kids woke up, I made breakfast and started up our PC. I opened my bank's web page and went to wake up my wife.

-... I know you are very tired and you would want to get some more sleep, but I have something to show. Something that I have talked a lot lately. Could you come with me?

Still feeling a bit sleepy my wife got up and I seated her in front of the PC.

-Now check this out...

I login to my bank account and made some stupid drumming sounds... and vĂ³ila! There was the 1,000 052 euros showing on the screen. Pause of 1 second. Then screaming and then some more screaming together. I hugged my wife and we jumped together across the living room. Our kids were feeling something between fun and fear. Of course due to their young age (3 years and 9 months) they couldn't understand what were raving about, but I tried to explain it to the older one as clear as I could:

-Daddy doesn't go to work anymore.

Maybe he understood or not, but he continued to eat his breakfast and asked if he could watch the cartoons at the same time. Things calmed down a little bit, but we were still trembling...

Thursday morning in autumn. It's dark and the temperature is about 8 C. What a happy day! I kissed my wife and kids, and went to work. I was 1,5 hours late, but it was not bothering me at all. First thing to do was to write a resignation letter. Boy, has it ever felt so good to get your ass kicked out of a company. Due to the law I still would have to work for 1 month, but for starters I took 5 days vacation and went home 1,5 hours earlier as usual.

Back home I noticed I was hungry, since I hadn't eat anything. I packed my family to our station wagon and we went shopping. I left my wife and the boys to the supermarket and then I headed to the nearest kebab restaurant. This time I didn't even thought what I could order, I just ordered two of my favorite portions and a beer. I enjoyd myself and left with full stomach. Ok, now it was time to make my first move. I went to the biggest car seller I could find and ordered a new Audi with all the goods. The price was around 55 000 euros, but this time I gave myself the permission to spend the money without a second thought! Still 4 weeks for delivery, but I would manage that time with my old reliable station wagon.

So, I went to pick up my family and we loaded their shoppings to the back of the car. Clothes, shoes, toys, CDs, books, DVDs, whatever the western individual needs to survive. 750 euros well spend.

The evening was a hassle with all the new things we had bought. I managed to order contract papers from one fund, so that I could invest my earnings. This evening I fell asleep within a second.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Dream Begins...

The last thing in my mind before I shut my eyes was that million euros on my bank account. Whew!!! Finally it had happened! No more counting the pennies and wondering how to pay the bills. I was finally where I wanted to be - an economically independent freelancer. My life would be totally different tomorrow, since it would be my first day as a millionaire. Now how good is that? I just can't wait tomorrow, when I'm going to tell it to my wife... Sweet dreams, baby!

And so the story begins. This is an imaginary blog about a guy with 1 million euros. Read on...