Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Day 13: Appetite For Destruction

OK, I had made up my mind to get fired. Somehow I like to leave the company with a big bang, so I created a DIY-End-Of-The-World plan. I packed my brand new ice hockey gear, a ghettoblaster, a box of vodka and 1,000 euros to my car and went to the office.

Lunch break is the best time to make your attack, since there's nobody at the office. I went to the garage, stripped and put my hockey gear on. I also took the other equipment and went upstairs. I waited until it was 5 minutes to the end of the lunch break. Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff would suit the mood pretty well, so I put it on repeat. Last breaths of aggression and the volume to 11. I banged my helmet with the stick and went totally nuts!!!

I ran against the booths and broke the lights with my stick. I cross-checked the computers and hit my head against the glass doors. The plants hadn't done anything to me, put it didn't stop me of throwing them against the wall. I threw the sofas down from the balcony and the copy machines are still singing rock-hallelujah after my treatment!

My colleagues were already coming back from the break and needless to say, they were speechless. Some of them tried to calm me down and asked me to stop, but once I gave them the box of vodka my little destruction exercise escalated into a full-scale riot!!! After 5 minutes the outer walls were the only things that were in their original position...

After the show was over, we sat on top of the trash mountain.The vodka was going around the circle and everybody was breathing deeply. I said my thanks for the help. Once our manager arrived and dropped his jaw, I went to him and gave him a 5 euro bill.

-Here's for the damage, I hope it covers everything. Now, could I be excused for good?

No words were spoken, but I turned around, walked by my colleagues and caused the last riot by throwing the 995 euros to the air. My mission here was over.

Back at home I went to sauna, drank a couple of beers and laughed my ass off.

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